For Me on Mother's Day

Let me dismiss perfect mom,

that one who always knows what to do and does it flawlessly. 

Let me banish meticulous housekeeper, organizational master, and always-there-parent.

 

Let me release the one who perpetually has it together and that other one who never needs help.

 

Let me banish the mom I would have been,

the mom I could have been,

the mom I should have been.

 

Let me give up on perfect mom and all of her friends.

Let me know, deep in my bones, that they are just mythical ideas that haunt me.

 

Instead, let me embrace the parent I am.

 

Let me believe in the one that others see:

the brave one with the stiff upper lip;

the one who made lemonade from lemons;

the “you’re so strong” one and her capable twin “I don’t know how you do it.”

 

Let me be proud of the mom I am:

the one who doesn’t have all the answers but is always up for learning;

the one who needs so very much help but knows there is strength in the reaching out for it;

the one who makes mistakes but asks for forgiveness;

the one who will talk about the embarrassing things, the hard things, the seemingly unspeakable things;

the tireless one who accepts chaos to say yes to the good stuff;

the tired one who needs to say no sometimes;

the mom who will advocate - sometimes strongly, sometimes quietly – relentlessly for her kids;

the one who suffered an enormous loss but never gave up,

the mom who still grieves and always goes on.

 

Let me give me, this very mom, the grace I want my children to give themselves,

 

and

 

let me proclaim - loudly, emphatically - that perfect mom never existed in the first place.