Chris’s scientific community honored him by dedicating part of an annual symposium to him. The organizers and his company were kind to include me and pay my way to attend. The trip has been one of those milestones of reckoning for me. I could sense the enormity of it in preparing and then it slammed into me as I began my solo journey. Now that I’m in the airport waiting to go home, there is so much to process from this trip; a lot of wonderful events and interactions with people who loved Chris but a freshly opened grief wound, too. This morning as I was walking around Zurich alone and found myself in a scenic lookout that we had been to together, thoughts of Chris and Elizabeth Barrett Browning’s poem were on my mind. The opening lines to her famous poem, slightly adapted, are an apt way to describe how much I miss him.
I miss you to the depth and breadth and height my soul can reach...
I just miss him. And I feel so grateful that Chris understood me so well and loved me for who I am. The sadness is profound today.
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