Are you going to boss it up or cry about it? First of all, I'm going to do both, says the widow.
That about sums up my life. There's just a ton of stuff that I have to do. There is no choice but to find a way to get it done. Accordingly, I have spent a lot of time bossing it up and I'm downright proud of the stuff that I've recently closed out. Case in point, I have never been so happy to write a check to the good old IRS and put a big bold check mark on my to-do list to categorize 2018 taxes as completed. I outsourced that but hey, it took work to find a good CPA and acquire some key documents in addition to the usual docs sent to me.
My new life is forcing me to be the boss. I don't feel comfortable in this role, but I'm the boss of the house, the kids, the dog (we got Phoenix!), not to mention my own life. It is so strange that it is not a team effort anymore. No more consultation, joint decision-making, or shared visions for the future. It's all there for me to steer so the ship doesn't go under, not to mention find some distant shore of my choosing. Once again, there's a tension between "having" to decide and "getting" to decide various matters. Some things are definitely have-to's (financial stuff) and some are obviously get-to's (dog, coaching baseball) but there are sometimes unexpected flip sides to both.
Despite the satisfaction and relief from getting some of death tasks done, each one brings a world of pain and a torrent of tears. So yes. I will boss it up in this new life. And, chances are, I'll be crying over my lost life and love at the same time. If I look a bit haggard, you'll know why. This is all exhausting.
My new life is forcing me to be the boss. I don't feel comfortable in this role, but I'm the boss of the house, the kids, the dog (we got Phoenix!), not to mention my own life. It is so strange that it is not a team effort anymore. No more consultation, joint decision-making, or shared visions for the future. It's all there for me to steer so the ship doesn't go under, not to mention find some distant shore of my choosing. Once again, there's a tension between "having" to decide and "getting" to decide various matters. Some things are definitely have-to's (financial stuff) and some are obviously get-to's (dog, coaching baseball) but there are sometimes unexpected flip sides to both.
Despite the satisfaction and relief from getting some of death tasks done, each one brings a world of pain and a torrent of tears. So yes. I will boss it up in this new life. And, chances are, I'll be crying over my lost life and love at the same time. If I look a bit haggard, you'll know why. This is all exhausting.
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